Soil of the Soul: Patience
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Now, my wife and I have three kids under five years old, and the older two are always waking up early. Recently, my older kids have loved drinking non-caffeinated tea in the morning, but every morning, one of the first things I do is make my wife and me a latte. When this happens, they usually come up and ask me, “Dad, can I have a cup of Tea?” And since I’m making my wife coffee, I usually respond with, “Not yet.”
They respond with, “OH that’s right Father. I love that you love mummy so much that you wish to make her a cup of coffee. I will display my patience knowing you’ll make us tea in due time…”
Not likely!
Usually, they start whining and say something like, “But I want it now!” My kids hate waiting and if I’m honest with you, I get it.
I don’t like waiting either.
The Apostle Paul writes in Galatians,
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” - Galatians 5:22-23
One of the character traits that the Holy Spirit wants to produce in us is forbearance, namely, patience. Most discipleship books start with something like bible study and prayer and move on to some spiritual disciplines. I even wrote one myself, but If I could do it again I would write a chapter at the beginning all about patience. Why?
I believe the fruit of Patience is the most misunderstood, and neglected character trait in our culture today.
The reality is, we want everything to happen on our timing. We want our food to be ready when we want it to be ready. We want our Amazon deliveries to arrive the next day or better yet the same day we order it. We get angry when the gift doesn’t arrive in time for Christmas. We get frustrated when the traffic is busy over the weekend and slows us down.
The word for Patience or Forbearance in the greek is the word, μακροθυμία or makrothymia, and it can be broken down into two parts. The first, “Makro” meaning long, and the second, “Thymia” meaning suffering. So what is patience? Long-suffering. Patience is the ability or strength to stay under pressure and not fold. Tim Keller has described patience as the ability to take it.
If patience is endurance in the context of suffering, then what is impatience? We often think of losing our patience—our “long-suffering”—as getting frustrated but I don’t think that’s what impatience actually is. I believe it is actually possible to show patience and be angry at the same time. To be patient and be frustrated or hurt.
Impatience is crumbling under the pressure. It is the inappropriate pressure relief we apply when we’ve had enough. We think of sin as outward actions, and God does see those as sins, but they are the result of the sinful attitude that comes from within us.
What is murder made of? Grumbling. Grumbling that has been given the right nutrition and resources to grow into something murderous. How do you grow grumbling into murder? Impatience, which manifests itself as self-pity. You take that grumbling, you plant it in the soil of the soul, and you water it with self-pity every day until it fully matures into death.
We look around and say, “God I want relief from this pressure and it looks like the relief ain’t coming soon so I’m gonna get mine now. I deserve a break God.” We think it’s better than nothing but it’s not! It kills our souls.
So how do we allow the Holy Spirit to develop patience in us?
First, remember God’s patience with you.
Every day you and I tax God’s patience. Jesus Christ being patient taking the blows, the thorns, and pain and the suffering…why? For you.
What is God requiring of you? That you treat the cashier with courteousness. Look at what Jesus has suffered for you and I. Christ has shown his patience and continues to show his patience for you and me. When we remember that it develops patience in our hearts.
Second, remember the majesty of God.
Timothy Keller tells the story of visiting a very important person who was late to the meeting. It was fine for him. Why? Because he was so delighted that that guy would even see him! Keller really respected him. If there is a really important person to me and they make me wait—I’m fine with it! Someone I really value and respect, if they’re late in getting back to me, I may get uncomfortable but I would wait because I’m just so honored to get time with them! How much more for God himself? God who is the creator of the universe spends time with us and, yes, sometimes is the one who makes you wait.
Finally, remember God’s timing is best.
John Newton the hymn writer wrote this phrase, “Everything is necessary that God sends and nothing is necessary that God withholds.” If you believe in a God that is infinite in wisdom, power, compassion, and goodness, if you truly believe God is all-powerful, that he is all-knowing and all-good, the literal maker of heaven and earth, your loving father who is perfect in majesty and compassion and all goodness; you have to agree with that statement. If you don’t then either you don’t believe he exists or the God you’ve been thinking of doesn’t exist.
The Lord is good and his mercies are new every morning. I hope you will find that the deeper we pursue Christ and his ways, the more patience God will develop in us. He is faithful and his timing is better than ours.
